The most effective networking relationships are reciprocal. Both individuals gain substantial benefits from the relationship. Unfortunately, some professionals view networking from one of two extremes, either they cynically ignore the effort, or they pursue their goal with Machiavellian tactics.

 

But what of the majority of us that fall between the extremes? We show up for the dance, but spend a fair amount of time observing from the sidelines. Of course there is nothing wrong with some observation.

 

It appears to be a friendly welcoming, offering help to the receiver of the message, but it’s not.  In fact, if you are using those ten words at the front end of your lead generation campaign then you are actually damaging your brand.  Here is why:

 

1. You delivered it through a direct message automation application didn’t you?  I thought that was the case.  Sorry, but most people delete those messages without ever reading them.

In the early 90’s three Pennsylvania college boys with too much time on their hands decided that every actor living or dead could be linked to Kevin Bacon.  Although never a big box office draw, Bacon has been in a significant number of films and the boys discovered that if you use Bacon as an end point, you can link him in six degrees or less to almost any other performer.  So, from that humble beginning The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon was born.

 

For example, Alfred Hitchcock and Elvis Presley can both be linked to Kevin Bacon.

The process, or more fitting, the mindset I recommend to individuals who want to start a business should actually be implemented long before they hang out their shingle.  Before starting a consulting firm or business that depends on your personal reputation it’s to your advantage to make sure your personal brand is already known, carries influence, and inspires trust.  That means building and nurturing your personal brand and network must be top-of-mind from the very beginning of your career, even while you are still working for someone else.

“I’d like to connect and collaborate for mutual benefit.” Like many of you, I’m often approached with that line on many social platforms.  In truth, when that phrase is used within a LinkedIn connection request from someone I don’t know it makes me cringe because past experience has proven that they really mean one of two things:

 

1.       I’d like you to accept my connection request so I can immediately pitch you on the solution I’m peddling because I’m sure you are a qualified persona.

Ha-ha, made you look!  When my kids were little they would sometimes taunt me with that phrase.  It was intended as a playful insult because they tricked me into looking at something that didn’t really exist.  With my marketing teams, that phrase is not said in jest.  Its code for marketing content and messaging that forms a favorable impression; it catches our target audiences’ attention and piques their interest.  Marketers want attention.  They want their audience to engage with their social profiles.

I’m interested to learn more about you, period.  Yes, you should have ended your “Quick Question” message right there.  But no, you then went on and on about your company and your solution.

 

Hi Alan,

Thanks for connecting on LinkedIn; I’m interested to learn more about what you do.  I’m VP of Sales at XYZ Company and our solutionblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

 

I wish I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question because I’d be able to retire immediately.  It’s right up there with:

 

 

And let’s not forget:

 

 

Why do executives cringe every time they’re asked those questions?  Because just about every solution-based qualification call on the sales training planet includes one of those questions, and that means they can see your sales prospecting pitch coming from a mile away.

 

I’ve heard that statement a hundred times.  To be honest, early in my career, I’m sure I said, and believed it myself; but not for quite some time now.  After decades of working with sales and marketing organizations across several industries I can tell you with confidence that when it comes to the basic mechanics of your business you’re not that unique.  Believe me, it’s OK for us to agree to disagree on this topic, and I’m sure many will.